Fights

One of my favorite conversations to listen to at a bar is the post-fight conversation.

Last week, for example I had the pleasure of witnessing a fight from start to dismissal:

In this red corner, he stands 5'8", 145 lbs. of fiery Irish adrenaline... Glasses!

In the blue corner, 6'4", 240 lbs. Massive Rage!

From over the bar came Massive Rage, shoving Glasses over the bar, but with one swift movement, Glasses reversed this hold and had Massive Rage on the ground. Before any one knew it, Massive Rage was bleeding from a gash on his head, and blood poured out of Glasses' nose. One, two, three, six punches from Glasses later, the bartender finally jumped in between and held each by the shirt collar. 

"Who started it?" the bartender demanded. 

"He blew a kiss at me!" Massive Rage exclaimed. 

"Ok, you're outta here," the bartender said. 

After a quick clean up, the entertainment really begins. 

"Oh man, you would've killed 'im," chatter spews from both ends. Whether their opponent was beaten to a pulpit or they were, their comrades are there to assure them that they would have been the clear winner of that fight. These conversation do not just happen in bars, but parties, football games, little league you name it. The male ego must be boosted regardless of their performance at the end of any fight. 

"Our adrenaline is already pumping, if there wasn't any support at the end, we might just keep it going," Mike Adams said after a Saturday night bar fight. 

My message about fights is simple: Guys, it's not cute. You do not impress any one by your ability to drunkenly swing on the first guy to look at you at the bar. The only way it becomes excusable is if you are defending your lady. Keep in mind, the idea of the knight in armor always appeals to our feminine hopes and dreams. Ladies, it's trashy. What man wants to see their woman being pulled around, or pulling around another girl by their hair? Yes, girls can be crazy, but you are better off walking away and letting your opponent look crazy rather than both of you being labeled the title of a popular  Buckcherry song. Not to mention folks, you are likely to get thrown out of the establishment you've decided to turn into your death match cage, and that ruins not only your night but your friend's. Ultimately fighting comes down to being selfish.